My clients who are living with grief often tell me about the people in their lives who have LOTS of opinions on HOW they should grieve, how LONG they should grieve and why YOUR grief isn’t (or shouldn’t be) as bad as it feels to you. Those “people” are wrong.
Grief is individual sport, it’s a solo journey that is as unique as you are. There is no wrong way to grieve. Are there destructive ways to respond to, and cope with, grief? Absolutely. You may have found yourself in a pattern of behavior you want to stop. Isolation, substance use, losing your temper, crying spells and pretending to be okay when you are not okay, are common ways my clients tell me they have struggled with their grief.
However you are grieving, it’s okay. Bring it, we can deal with it together.
Many well intentioned people will say the pain of grief and loss will get better over time. That saying can leave people feeling like a failure when the pain doesn’t subside. I believe the pain never goes away, but it does change. My clients learn to carry the memory of their departed loved ones forward with them as they learn to navigate a new life without them. Life does move on and I know personally that it can seem like you may be frozen in time with your pain while the whole world moves forward. I get it. We can figure out what way forward is best for you.
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